Uneverything

I know it’s not a word, uneverything. When I type it, trust me, the smart little laptop filled with all the smarty pants intelligence tells me it’s not correct. But I like it. Uneverything. If I say it enough or use it enough, who knows, might show up somewhere in something. Uneverything. Say it with me- uneverything! Do a little dance while you shout it out loud. Uneverything! Uneverything! Uneverything!

Well either you’re shaking your head or you need just as much therapy that I don’t have the money to pay for. So instead I’ll try to give my little uneverything rant a reason for you to keep reading. Spoiler alert- it’s full of babble with a side of vent. If you’re still reading maybe I have piqued your inner curiosity or you just can’t sleep. I’m not even sure where I’m going with this- may the adventure begin!

Uneverything! No one said life is fair, most of the time for normal people like me it sucks. Not seriously sucky but sucks none the less. And it doesn’t suck all the time but when it does, it sure feels like it huh? A friend of mine posted on her social media site just last night that if she didn’t have bad luck she wouldn’t have any luck at all. How many times have you said that either out loud or silently to yourself. Be truthful at least to yourself if not to me.

Let’s push past the sucky part for just a minute and really analyze what’s going on. I’ll start, just so everyone else can be put at ease. Well, the house we bought has a leaky roof. Joy! I have multiple acres of grass to cut and my riding lawn mower chose today to revolt and go on strike. Woo-hoo! One of my larger fur babies is walking around with a limp- worried. My truck’s overdrive isn’t working- ugh. The hubby’s truck needs a set of tires and a brake job. Yay! My scale lies to me on a daily basis- totally should fire it- or shoot it. My mirror is broken, there is no way I’m getting that old that quick. There are lists for the lists of things that need to be done. Memos of calls that still need to be made. I feel overwhelmed with everything piling up and I mark all that down in the ‘sucky’ column. There are a few more about fair weather friends, grievances I have with un-named people (not you mom & dad- we cool).

Since I’m a list person, I started on the ‘other’ column. I’m healthy. I love and am loved. I know who I can call in time of need and who I can call to vent too. My parents are fantastic (cause they didn’t kill me off in my teenager years). I have an amazing husband, but don’t tell him, his ego doesn’t need to be bigger. I love the outdoors and I’m lucky enough to be involved with groups that share that romance. I am warm when it gets cold. I am cool when it gets hot. Even though there is a leak, I have a roof. Even with the encroaching grass, I do have land. I write what I love, even if I’m not a best-seller.

I wish I was thinner (but I’m lazy and I know it). I wish I was richer (for totally different reasons than what others would think about). I wish I had better relationships with people (but I hold grudges for too long). I wish I was smarter (at least more than my 16 year old so I can help him with his blasted math!). I wish I had traveled abroad more (but wow- I’ve seen a lot in these 50 states). I wish I had just one more year with my grandmother (because every girl needs to have a best friend that lived forever). I wish I spent more time flopped on my belly playing Legos, coloring pictures and racing cars with my kids (instead of worrying about the laundry or getting dinner on the table in time). But alas, those are wishes.

Uneverything! Say it again! Uneverything! What are we without everything? Without our cars, houses, credit cards, kids, pets, family, love, failures, anger, grief, work, hobbies- the list goes on and on. I could stay up all night writing what all we have in our hectic lives. That’s where the ‘un’ comes in. I’m not saying walk away, unplugging completely or even stop posting about every piece of food you eat or place you go. But there are times I desire to ‘un’.

When the house is dark and all are tucked up in bed. When the moon is the only light left on. I sit on the porch and breath deep of the cooling air. A shiver will run up my spine as I exhale and wrap the blanket a little tighter over my shoulders. I shake it all off. The everything. The pressures, the lists, the hopes, the haves and the have-not’s. I cry in the dark because I can. I imagine the stars laughing with me, or at me, as they blink in and out. This is ‘un.’ The ‘uneverything’ for me. Everyone needs it at one point of their life. I need mine daily.

So here’s to you! May you find your uneverything my friends. May it exciting or not. May it be as loud or as quiet as you need it. May it be bright and full of laughter or dark and full of tears as you need it. Just remember, everything will always be there – it’s the ‘un’ you have to search for.

Blessed be!
Malissa